If Father won't walk you down the aisle, Is it ok to ask your future father-in-law?

My father is refusing to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day, and my fiance' is saying that i should ask his dad( my future father-in-law) to walk me down. Is it ok and appropriate or should i find someone else to walk me down.

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Permalink Reply by Creative Elegance Weddings on February 25, 2010 at 4:22pm

I think that as long as you are comfortable with that it should be fine. I would definitely talk to your dad about it first to make sure he is okay with it. Even though he refuses, he may still have a problem with someone else doing it. I think it should be someone who means a lot to you and you are comfortable with.

Happy Planning!
Nicole
Creative Elegance Weddings

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Permalink Reply by No Limit Events, LLC on February 25, 2010 at 9:39pm

What's concerning is the fact that hte won't walk you down the aisle. Is it because he physically can't? Or are there some issues there? Either way, this is an important time in your life. If there is just no way around the problem, as long as your are comfortable with who you want walking you down the aisle, it's really fine as Creative Elegance Weddings suggests. Remember, it should be someone who should be proud to give his daughter/niece/cousin/sister etc away! Best to you.

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Permalink Reply by christina dawn nelson on February 25, 2010 at 10:34pm

This is my third marriage and he wasn't there to walk me down the aisle at my first two weddings. We have never been close and it hurts that he won't walk me down but will my soon-to-be sister-in-law.

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Permalink Reply by Glen Shevlin on February 26, 2010 at 6:26pm

it is your wedding so what evewr you are comfortable with should work

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Permalink Reply by The Beginning of Forever on February 28, 2010 at 6:49pm

I agree with what everyone has said. Go with what makes you most comfortable, and make sure your furture father-in-law is comfortable too. I am sorry that you are dealing with this at this time!

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Permalink Reply by Soulful Engagements on March 3, 2010 at 9:21am

I think it would be appropriate as long as you're both comfortable with him walking you down the aisle. You also mentioned your future sister-in-law. I could see how she could be a little put off by the idea of her dad walking you down the aisle, especially if she's his only daughter. If you do ask him to walk you down the aisle I would also have him run the idea by your future-sister-in-law to make sure there are no hurt feelings on her part.

Stephanie
Soulful Engagements

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Permalink Reply by christina dawn nelson on March 3, 2010 at 9:56am

No what i meant is that My Father is walking my future-sister-in-law down the aisle when my brother gets married instead of walking me his only daughter down the aisle. I am trying to do what i feel is best, i love my future-father-in-law but i don't want to hurt my father either. This is tearing me apart inside not knowing who to have walk me down the aisle on my most important day.

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Permalink Reply by Phyllis Cambria on March 3, 2010 at 10:40am

You know, there is no rule that says you have to be walked down the aisle. Many brides, especially those who have already been married before, often walk down the aisle by themselves.

The purpose of someone walking the bride down the aisle is to "give her away." Since you've already been out on your own, your father isn't giving you away.

Do you have children? It's equally possible for them to walk you down the aisle since you would be joining all of the members of your immediate family (your children if there are any) with your new husband. Or, if your children are older, you can have your eldest child walk you.

You even can have your mother give you away or an uncle or some other male family members.

While it's nice to honor your fiance's father, he can't "give you away" because technically, you're not his to give.

It's just a thought. Whatever you choose to do is fine. It's your wedding.

I'm just sorry that your father doesn't want to participate in walking you down the aisle.

Much happiness!

Phyllis Cambria
WeddingPlansPlus.com

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Permalink Reply by Lee Laroche for the NHJPA on March 21, 2010 at 7:45am

I agree completely with Phyllis. If at all possible you should have a close family member give you away.
Like Phyllis said if you already live on your own then there is absolutely nothing wrong with you walking down the aisle by yourself.
I'm so sorry to hear that your father is unwilling to do this for you. Hopefully you can work things out with him before the wedding.

Congratulations and best wishes to you.

Lee Laroche - Founder
NH Justices of the Peace A-List Organization since 2007

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Permalink Reply by Phillip Brunelle on March 25, 2010 at 10:18am

Not that there is something wrong with having your fiance's dad walk you down the aisle, but I personally would not do that. The point of the bride being walked down the aisle is a tradition of approval and handing the brides hand over in marriage, and because of this, I would suggest maybe to have your brother, or a very close relative do this for you, rather than his dad. It just doesnt make much sense for his dad to do it, when it should be someone you knew all your life, or most of it, to give your hand in marriage... I hope this makes sense, but either way its just my opinion, and your day should be your way.

Phillip Brunelle
Massachusetts Wedding Photographer
MA Wedding Photographers

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Permalink Reply by I Do Wedding Favors on March 25, 2010 at 12:54pm

Why not your mom? There is no set rule that the person giving the bride away has to be male. Mothers do it all the time. I've even seen it where uncles that the bride is particularly close to give brides away. And for brides that have children, I've seen the bride's own son give her away. I'm sorry that your dad is behaving this way. I know it must put a damper on your spirits and planning. My first preference would be for your mom to give you away. If that's not possible perhaps an uncle would do the honors.

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Permalink Reply by The Candy Buffet on April 21, 2010 at 3:34pm

Boy...those traditions are so ingrained in us aren't they? Emotionally, I'm sure this is hurtful, but it is what it is and now you must move on. Do you have a good male friend, maybe a co-worker, a brother, cousin or Uncle? Those are some options...but better yet, why not simply walk down the aisle by yourself? After all, this is your third marriage and you know the way! ;)