I did a very big wedding yesterday and when the ceremony was over I went and looked to see where I was to be seated and they didnt have my name. The wedding planner thanked me for being there and paid me and that was my sign to leave. I told the wedding planner that I had the couple's wedding certificate but she took it and that was it. I wasnt allowed to see the couple again. I felt like I wasnt important to anyone, until today, the groom called me and said they didnt see me last night and I got out of there before they could me a thank you gift. How would you feel and what would you do? I have done many weddings where I was not to stay for the reception but it kinda bothers me when its done like they dont care about me and what I did for them.
I actually do not wish to be invited to the reception. Couples are aware of this upfront because It is posted on my website. I eplain that I work full time at my day job, and often officiate 3-6 weddings a weekend, not to mention the sometimes wedding rehearsals on Thursday and Friday nights. I explain that I rarely see my family, I realize how expensive weddings are, and that since their family and friends do not know me, it would be uncomfortable for all of us. So I am never asked and I prefer it that way. I would not have a life if I attended receptions.
Since I became an officiant, all couples know that I love taking a picture with all couples that I marry so that I can place it on my website and Facebook, so they know that once the ceremony is over, we will sign the certificate and take a photo. Upon arriving at any venue, I inform both the planner, as well as the photographer, that we plan on doing this. I have never, ever had a problem.
I actually prefer not to stay at receptions! For me weddings are a family affair and for me to stay by myself at a table of unknown people would make me feel unconfortable. I may stay for the cocktail if invited! Like Weddings on Wheels; I require payment 2 weeks prior. There is nothing more unconfortable than to get paid right there when you have your alb and stole and clerical collar shirt on. Since we operate as an agency, the person who sits with the couple to do all the contract, payment etc is not the same as the one who actually officiates the ceremony; that way i separate the business part from the pastoral part
WOW YES ; --- this happens to me alot ! and now I do not take it as pesonally as I used to , when I was newer
--- I am over ! ----the service is done , -- It's on to their next moment that is all about them ,!!!! and suddenly I;m history !
Yes , we do put so much of ourselves into their Big day .
And sometimes NO acknowledgement at all !
a rotten two sentence dull email ,, --- Sometimes a great note of sincere thanks,-- sometimes a tip $$$ Yeah l . --- I love havang some extra cash , YEAH 1 but many think it is too vulgar .--- Strange but GOD or the Angels do NOT pay my Bills! ,
I do ! I often say No , --when I am asked for dinner . Some think they have to ask you ,! The VERY few times , I have been asked and I stay . It was because I really had a heart connection with the couples , But Mostly, --- I am not asked and do not stay .
SARAH BUNNETT GIBSON
OFFICIANT TORONTO CANDA
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