Wedding Invitations etiquette - Part 1

Probably the most complex and confusing aspect of the entire wedding is
the simple piece of paper called the invitation. Certainly there’s more etiquette
involved in the assembling and sending of invitations than in any
other single part of the wedding. The reason is that the invitation sets the
stage for the wedding. The traditional, engraved, formal invitation is no
longer the only choice available—informal, colorful, and innovative invitations
can also be appropriate. However, note that the style of the invitation
should match the style of the wedding. It should be remembered
that the guests will take their cues on what to expect and how to dress
from the style of the invitation.

For example, if the reception will be a black-tie, evening affair, a formal
invitation should be issued. If the wedding will be a barefoot,
beach-front ceremony, a less formal style would be appropriate. If
the wedding is to be very small (as may be the case for a second marriage),
a handwritten, personal note is appropriate for an invitation.

Even when engraved invitations are used, the bride may send personal,
handwritten invitations to very close relatives and friends.
(Note that any handwritten invitation requires a similar reply.)

Since the style of the invitation establishes the tone of the wedding,
the wedding style must be established first. Once the level of formality
for the wedding has been decided, the invitations can be selected.

In fact, it’s better to wait until the ceremony site and reception site
have been chosen and reserved before ordering the invitations, in case
any last-minute changes occur. The invitations should never be ordered
before the other major wedding decisions are made.

Before looking at the special requirements of each type of invitation,
let’s answer some common questions about wedding invitations.

What Is the Difference Between Invitations
and Announcements?

A wedding invitation is the official card that invites a guest to the
wedding ceremony and/or reception. Since a reception invitation
generally carries the social obligation to send a wedding gift, they
should be reserved for family and close friends.

In contrast, a wedding announcement simply announces the marriage after it occurs. Announcements are typically sent to acquaintances and business associates. Announcements should have the same level of formality or informality as the invitation, and can be mailed up to three months after the wedding. However, it’s best to send announcements the day
after the wedding.

Tags: ettique, invitation, wedding

Comment by Lori Luza on November 14, 2009 at 2:53pm: Great post, Michelle. We offer some more contemporary invitations as an add-on to engagement photography, and I always offer to walk clients through some of this stuff. Most things wedding aren't the way they were when a bride's mom got married. I love to be a more contemporary resource for adhering to the spirit of etiquette. (and I get a renewed charge for it every time I see an invitation with registry/selection cards included.... grrr. ) I think this needs repeating....will link to your article from my blog.