3 Tips To Help You Create A Happy & Successful Marriage

I am now on the road to getting married for the third time in my life and I can honestly say that I feel like I finally have a solid understanding of what it takes to make a relationship last. The first time I got married I was so young and had no idea who I was or what I was doing. I was just so happy that someone wanted to spend their life with me that I jumped in foolishly. Suffice it to say, hard lesson learned.

In my second marriage, I thought I had it all figured out but looking back, I was still missing some important pieces that really make a big difference. So after my second marriage ended, I decided to take a break for a while and focus on myself. Rather than thinking that I needed someone else to feel complete or happy, I spent a lot of time getting to know myself. And you know what, when I wasn’t looking for a man, the perfect man presented himself.

But this time, I was ready. Now, when I say “ready” I don’t mean perfect because I am far from it. However, my perspective on what a relationship is and how to approach them radically shifted. And, I finally began to understand what men want and how they think. These two key factors have really helped to play a big role in how my relationship with my partner has unfolded.

Here are three things I have learned and wanted to share:

1. Relationships Are A School

When I first used to seek out a relationship, I would always approach them thinking that its all about having fun and being happy. And while those can be side effects of the relationship, that is not what they are all about.

Simply put, a relationship is a school where you and your partner get to learn and master skills such as patience, compassion, communication, sharing, and more. Each encounter with my partner always teaches me something about myself and human dynamics and I am always fascinated by it.

If you approach a relationship this way and don’t expect it to be perfect (i.e. always know that some situation can present itself), then you wont be taken off guard when something “wrong” happens. That can be a game changer for so many women who enter into relationships with the false pretense expecting everything to be warm and fuzzy all the time.

2. Stay Independent

While this may sound counter-intuitive to some people since the idea of marriage is about coming together, it’s important that while you are going to share your life, that you as a person do not lose your individuality.

In my first two marriages I gave so much of myself to my partner that I completely lost my own identity and began to have resentment. But in the end, I eventually learned that I only had myself to blame.

By keeping your independence, you continue to focus on what makes you happy and (as a side effect), it actually keeps your man more interested in you because men like independent women. Once a man feels like you are wrapped around his finger, they lose interest.

3. Ask For Help

One of the things that have really helped me with my life and our relationship is working with a life coach. By having someone to help me put things into perspective and support me along my own personal growth journey, it has made a huge difference not only in my life, but in our relationship.

Remember, when you become a better person then it also has a positive impact on the relationship as well. Don’t be afraid or feel weird because you ask a professional for help. Whether it is a counselor, therapist, or life coach, find someone you can trust who is willing to support you along the road of life.