Wedding pros! I'm looking for some guidance on this issue.  I have a bride who just can't seem to make a decision on ANYTHING.  I give her my professional advice on her questions/concerns (a few examples are what wedding colors to choose and should I include so-and-so in my bridal party), but she wants me to tell her what to do.  It's not my wedding!

 

Any advice/suggestions?

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After many years of working with couples, it is my opinion that our brides are extremely overwhelmed and full of indecision. They have a plethora of information at their fingertips and are afraid that if they make a decision.....they will make the "Wrong" choice by either missing information that may be better or something have not seen or heard of yet.
It is good idea to find out the brides vision and then offer her a couple of choices encouraging her ( by giving her a time frame when she needs to make a final decision). Good luck!
Dear Wedding Affair:

I would weigh how many hours you have spent with your bride. Have you charged her for any of the consultations, measuring, ect.????? Chances are if you have taken her measurements and given them to her..she is "shopping around" on-line using your company as a resource!

At some point, you have to set bounderies, perhaps call her and set up a final appointment with her and be firm that you are ready to "wrap things up with her." You are now asking for the committment of a sale, and you should start charging her for your consultations. There comes a time these customers need to start paying for Professional Fees or you just have to let them move on and contentrate on getting potential customers that are serious in buying and working with you. Chances are she is hitting all the bridal Salons doing the same thing. If a Bride is getting serious, it doesn't take forever to make a decision. Give these Brides one hour as a Free Complimentary Consultation. The minute you start measuring, charge them. Don't give them pictures, tell them it's the designers private collection..and don't allow them to take any pictures inside the store. This isn't necessary and from my experience, I have never gotten a sale from these brides that Dilly-dally with your time! Good Luck! Cathy
I'm glad someone posted on this issue. It's certainly a big frustration for me. The last indecisive bride I consulted with was the daughter of a friend of mine, so in my case I actually passed her off to another florist because keeping "deadlines" and boundaries with a friend were going to be dodgey and could have caused issues with the friendship, and I could see definitely trouble coming down the pike with this bride (can you say "zilla?"). Now in retrospect I can see what the bride's indecisiveness was - the summer wedding has been called off completely and the bride has already found herself a new boyfriend.
I would let my bride know that "Time is of the Essence" especially when it comes to deciding her wants and needs. The decision now will make things go smoother as it gets closer to your wedding day. Tell her your confident in the decisions that she is making and that you support her. It sounds as if her self esteem is the bottom line issue. Encourage her in the sense that she is making the right choices for her special day. and that you will have a back up plan in place.
All of the responses to this thread have been extremely helpful! @Elizabeth, it's good to know that I'm not the only one who experiencing this! :-)
argh i hate indecisive people (in general)! I would try to point out the stuff that the bride doesn't like and tell them to eliminate those, and then remind them of their timeline and deadlines as well. Eventually they will have to decide hehe!
Sometimes a Bride is so confused, she has been given so much input from friends, mother, mother-in-law, etc. that she just has no idea what the hell, she wants by the time she comes to us. She has just flat out lost her way. So it really is up to us as the coordinator and designer, to help her find her "mojo" again, find her way and find her desires again. The Bride really is looking to us to help make those final decisions with her and sometimes for her, giving her that final push into what is fabulous and what isn't, what is in her budget, and what isn't , they come to us because they mostly don't know what to do when, and what final decisions to make because it has and is all too overwhelming for them. So, it really does get to a point where it is like, a new fresh wedding for us each and every time too! We are there for each Bride to help them through each and every decision that they need us for, and personally i am happy to do it, i get a rush out of helping the brides decide and pick and plan, etc. and helping them design and creating for them and just submitting for their approval and then seeing the look of relief on their faces. There truly is nothing like it, as you well know! I say, if your bride can't make up her mind, jump in with both feet, create, design, present her with ideas, have a blast!!! WAHOOOOO!! It is time to have a wedding girl!!!!! Go get it!!!!! Take care!
Aimee Gillum owner of DIVAlity EVENTS www.divalityevents.com
Thanks Aimee! WAHOOOOO!
No I know I am not the only one experiencing this problem. We just have to stand firm and remind our Bride of the "time Restrictions" involved when it comes to ordering their dresses, ect., color availability. It's not necessary to try on 350 dresses before one decides what they want, and they are familiar of the costs..don't let them fool you.

I would not give them the exact style numbers..take the ticket off the dress. They don't need to know your markup or if you know of any other place they can find it..they know that already. I give them so much of my time . If I have to measure, open up a file, I do charge them whether I get the sale or not. It wakes them up you mean business and it'a not playtime. I believe it comes a time your services are chargable. And you cannot carry every dress manufactured. Good luck gals....Cathy www.collezionefortuna.com.
Wow, I can so relate to this discussion. I'm currently dealing with the wishy washy bride myself. I've spent countless hours working with her and trying to gently point her in the right direction. I know she's tried on almost every gown that fits her in my shop, and I know she's been to all the other shops in town too. She has the shiny/sparkly syndrome. There's alwaiys something else that catches her attention. She loves the fabric and beading on this one...the lace on that one...the train is too long...this one is too short, etc. Yesterday...I decided to take a stand. Instead of agreeing with her on how beautiful the gown was, I picked it apart. I told her every good reason why she should not pick that gown. At the end of the session...there was one left. I ordered it today.
Sometimes "reverse thinking" works..in your case it did! I am glad!! I have to say these gals can wear you out mentally!

They have they have their dream on what their perfect wedding dress should be. Some are realistic and some are not, unless you have it made for you!

It will slip out somewhere along the line as they become more comfortable working with you they have a gown set aside at another shop, online, ect...one Bride blirted out she was on a website in China ready to order her gown online for $200.00 and backed out!

We just have to keep telling ourselves that when they do walk in for their appointment or just walk in..they have looked at gowns elsewhere and maybe working with another Bridal Salon. They have too many choices thrown at them and that is why they are so confused. They have to come to understand they have to make a choice on one gown. When they are really dilly-dallying and I feel I given them enough of my time, which is generous, I give them my card and tell them to call me when they are ready to work with me. Some Brides need time and it may be until the last minute.
First, let's bear in mind that the vast majority of brides have never had a wedding before and have absolutely no experience in planning and organizing such an event. It is for this very reason we spent so much time and effort in compliling our Engagement and Wedding Planning Guide which we give free to our brides. However, even with so much resource information in their hands, some brides still become confused and lose their way. Although I'm a DJ, I frequently have to step up and become an event coordinator, help organize, make suggestion and do many things outside my primary role in order thye assist the bride. Why, because if people attend a reception and it is confused and disorganized, rightly or not, it reflects nagatively on me. My motto is: Arramge events in a logical order and keep the party moving. Do not start-stop-start-stop. Doing so will kill the momentum and flow, Guests will become bored and leave, and the party fizzles out.
Most all of us must step into the planner/coordinator role when dealing with these brides-to-be. It just goes with the territory.

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