Hi I have been told by a weddingplanner that she gets invited as  guest to the weddings she coordinates. Is that usual? I mean if i am getting paid to ccordinte a wedding I don't see myself as a guest and planner at a wedding. I have to be in the background to supervise everything regarding the event. At least that's how I see it.


What is your opinion about this matter?



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I totally agree with you.

I usually leave after all the of formalities have occurred that I need to supervise unless I have items to collect because we have done the decorating or flowers or my staff is involved in the breakdown of the event. 

I completely agree with the majority, yea some people do become close with their clients on a friendship level, and feel more like a guest as well. The truth of the matter is, work is work; don't mix buisness with pleasure. Even if the planner wanted to bring a date, she should be feeling super overwhelmed at the fact that she has to make everything perfect, would she even have time to spend it with a date...
Totally agree.  As a wedding planner, even though I spend up to a year with the couple; know what they love to eat and their favorite beverage and although I may eat, it's not before all the main festivities are over.  I have a job to do and I will be doing it.  Some locations count me & any of my team as a total in head count, but myself nor any of my team are a guest.  Nor is dancing with the wedding guests or party acceptable.  A Memory Lane Event, Denver CO 
I have always been invited as a guest.
I have never, in over 7 years, been invited as a guest to a wedding I am coordinating. I am there working, not as a guest. Yes, I am provided a vendor meal (which I eat out of sight for a few minutes of quiet and for the professionalism of not sitting and eating with the wedding guests) - but I am still a vendor, not in any way a guest. It would be silly to invite me as such, as I already have a contract that I am being paid to be there...
Same with me.  Maybe in one case we became friendly and I was invited as a guest, but it usually ended up being work and I never had time to sit

Oh my gosh!

That would never fly here. Sounds like your wedding coordinator wants a free meal and access to an open bar instead of running the show when YOU should be relaxing. This is a huge red flag, run and run fast.

Many times the clients ask to send me an invitation but I always decline.  I am hired to do a job and make sure everything runs smoothly.  I do appreciate the offer but honestly feel bad sitting at a table eating a meal.  Once I did a service for free to a friend and that's the only time I accepted an invitation for the meal.

Okay...that is weird. As a wedding officiant...I am normally ask to join the festivities and while I appreciate the gesture..I always pass. The up side of that is that I collect invitations to show all my other brides...so I love rec'ing them.

For your planner to foist herself upon your reception is ridiculous. Only if you want...otherwise...as a planner I would never expect that...though..the invite is nice. (I help with planning too).  That just wasn't appropriate for her to suggest that...Personal opinion of course! :)

Just a note: I am a weddingplanner not a bride who started this discussion and I appreciate all the replies I have received. Because it is clear to me that as a professional you have boundaries and limits. You are paid to do the job as many of you have said on this board and you can't be hanging around playing guest.


Thank you very much!

Iris Susanna 


There are many ways you can look at it, if you are a professional. You will thank them for inviting you. But you let them know that they hired you, to make sure everything runs smooth and stress free. Also you could have bounded with them so much, that they trust you and you are so good and professional, that you know you have done everything to make it a perfect Day for them. Then you can enjoy yourself a little bit also.  This will also depends on all the other vendors that she has hired. They are at the level of professionalism that you are. What you don't want to do is have to babysit all the other vendors. That’s why you have to make sure they hire the right vendors that understand their vision of their wedding.


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