Hi I have been told by a weddingplanner that she gets invited as  guest to the weddings she coordinates. Is that usual? I mean if i am getting paid to ccordinte a wedding I don't see myself as a guest and planner at a wedding. I have to be in the background to supervise everything regarding the event. At least that's how I see it.


What is your opinion about this matter?



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Yes that's very common you spend at least a year or more with the couple, if you are lucky you build a great friendship.  For at least a year you have been a trusted resource, someone to confide in a great mentor, it's not strange the couple would think of you as a guest.
I see it the same way, the coordinator is on the background making sure everything is  ready and running the right way.
I agree with you and Vanessa.  If you are being paid to be there, you are not a guest.  That is like saying the photographer is a guest.
I completely agree with you!  If you are there working and getting paid to do so, then you're not there as a guest.  I think getting invited as a guest to a wedding you coordinate is definitely not the norm.

I am glad to hear that I am not alone in this! thanks for your comments.

The vendors who are hired to work a wedding are there for just that --  to work.  However, most weddings I have done, the vendors have somewhere to sit and they are provided a meal.  However, that in no way means that they are to "sit" throughout the event and eat like a pig.    I worked with a photographer once who sat most of the time with her husband (second shooter), smooching and eating everything they could get their hands on.  I pretty much had to tell her to get off her butt and do some work since I was the coordinator.  Whatever the bride and groom provides should be used sparingly, in good taste and with consideration.  But no, you are not a guest.
I would say that it would be an honor to be considered a guest however the intent is to be a wedding professional and to make the couples wedding dreams come true.  As all of us wedding coordinators know, we work non stop to make sure every detail is accounted for.  There is no time to sit, chat, mingle or even eat.

I agree 100%.....I would like to add that...there should be an exit plan as well....When does the planner make her exit?


I usually make my exit once I confirm (again) all the details with the Best Man and Maid of Honor, right before the main course....

That is another question: when do you as a wedding planner leave? do you have to stay all night?


Good discussion! 

This I guess would really be determined by what you have stated in your contract. For me, if I am planning/coordinating the wedding, I stay for the entire event and even assist some of the vendors with breakdown. It's a great way to build good relationships with the people you're working with, but also ensures that all of your bases are covered for the event. For a wedding, I'm usually packing up things like the cake topper, veil, gifts etc. and loading them into a vehicle for them to take home, or organizing guests for a send off. These are things that would happen within the last 30 minutes or so of the evening and at that point it is pointless to head out. Do cover this in your contract with your clients so they know what to expect. I also offer a set up and design service, and in that case, my contract states that I will have the setup complete a half hour to an hour before the event starts, and specifies whether or not I'm responsible for breakdown as well. In that case, I can leave as soon as my duties are finished for the evening. Hope this helps, I know it's a little long-winded.

You are definitely saying it like it is!  I believe that as Wedding Planners many times our clients become very attached to us and we undoubtedly spend more time with them than any other vendors.  I'm not surprised when they want us to eat on a 16- hour day!   It's important to be discreet about it to not appear unprofessional.  If the client wants me to enjoy their choices of food, I prefer to time it so that activities are well underway such as when dancing has started and not be seen for a few minutes.  I really think it depends on what will make a client happy and not so much how I personally feel about it.  I don't just automatically expect to eat, but if a client feels badly if I don't, then I will.

Planning with Excellence is absolutely right.


In my opinion a wedding planner, along with your other vendors, are not guests at the wedding. They are being paid to be there and have a job to do throughout the wedding. You should at least be providing vendor meals for vendors such as photographers, planners, and many times the band (pretty much anyone that will be working during the reception, and have been on site working throughout the day). Some people choose to provide a "vendor table" but many times the vendors will take shifts eating in another area away from guests. As a planner, this is something I prefer because I am usually very busy throughout the entire reception, and need to eat quickly. This prevents my meal being removed from the table by servers before I have a chance to eat or feeling like I'm running out on other guests who I may be talking with at the table because I have to cue the dj, band, or photographer for the next event.


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