what to do when one of some of the bridal party live in another state?

1.  How do i coordinate getting all the same dresses for the brides maids in CT and the one in Florida?  Coordinating fittings and all that?  And whether it looks good on the person out of state if I cant see it on her?  What do you suggest?

2.  My maid of honor lives in Florida, and I live in CT so I guess she wont be at my wedding shower?  Of course i will invite her, but is this asking her to much of an expense to come to my state for the shower, the dress fittings and the wedding?  It doesn't seem feesible.  What do you suggest?

3.  One of the ring bearers, my maid of honors son also loves in florida, and i am in CT so how do I get him fitted for a Tux and shoes, etc.?

4.  How do I find a dress for the flower girl to coordinate with the maids dresses when she lives in florida with the maid of honor and I live in CT?

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Hi Suzanne

This is what has worked for my couples so far successfully:

1. Select designers who's clothing are sold in both states, for example Priscilla of Boston has a showroom in but states and styles which are carried by most wedding boutiques. Have the bridesmaid send you a photograph of how the dresses look from the front, back and sides.

2. You should definitely ask your maid of honor and leave it up to her whether financially it's feesible. But don't forget to express your gratitude and understanding if she can not make it.

3/4 Same suggestion as in question 1
My advice to brides who would like to maintain a little control on the out of state bridesmaids issue is this:

Choose a style and designer that the bridesmaid can see at a local retail store. Send he bridesmaids the designer,style number and the color to be ordered in one of 2 ways.

1. You decide to place the order for the dresses yourself so there are no surprises when you find out that one of your maids dragged her feet and her dress is coming in the week of the wedding and you just hope she got the right size.

What to do....You include a size chart and request that they get measured locally and choose a size. you may also request a deposit of 1/2 the cost which is the customary deposit at most Bridal Salons. Then, you place the order yourself, receive an estimated shipping date from the salon which you will pass on to your maids. They can set up a seamstress appointment locally a month or so before the wedding so that if there are any major issues with the size ordered, they still have time to order fabric if need be, to fix it. You ship them the dress when it comes in which will not cost more than $10-12. When you ship the dress you let the BM know exactly the length you want the dress to be. For example the standard full length gown is usually 1 inch from the floor with the exact shoes on that they will wear. This makes a nicer presentation in formal pictures. If it is tea length, 9 inches from the floor with shoes on and for short dresses just specify knee length or # of inchs above or below knee. And that is that, and you retain control.

2. If you are one of those lucky laid back Brides then this might be your plan. You give them a designer and color and let them shop, order and decide on their own alterations and hope for the best as far as compliance. You can also say get a "pink dress" and let them choose individually according to their own sense of style.

The same scenario goes for shoes. If getting dyed shoes, it is always a good idea to get them dyed together because shes dyed by different people can vay greatly in color. They are basically dyed to "blend" with the dress color which means they could vary in depth and tint of color. If you do choose the shoes yourself try to give the choice of 2 or three heel heights.

A ringbearer is really not that difficult. If you are getting tuxedos from a national chain then you are in luck. If not send them a picture to take to a local tuxedo shop to get the best match.

A long answer but after 16+ years involved in wedding planning and wedding fashion I know it will prevent a lot of stress in you have a plan.

Happy Wedding Planning!
Wow. I saw your question and got totally excited. My best friend had her bridesmaids scattered across the world and it was a huge pain to get us all coordinated. She was comfortable with buying dresses online and that was the way we decided to go. However, deciding on the exact dress was quite an ordeal with all those emails and stuff. Based on her frustrations, we built Shiny Orb.

I just got married and my wedding was the test case for our company. I also had bridesmaids scattered all over. What Shiny Orb features is a "dressing room." As the bride, I started a dressing room and added dresses that I thought would be nice. Then, I invited my bridesmaids to join my room. As members of my dressing room, they could comment on the dresses I picked as well as add other dresses to the room. In this way, we were able to keep all of the discussions in one place and since the comments are right next to the dresses, it was very easy to see what was what. This format made it really easy for us to decide on our final dress. You can see the public view (no private comments) of my dressing room here: Jennifer's fabulous bridal party.

Ultimately, my bridesmaids didn't feel that an in-person dress fitting was necessary and we had huge savings buying online. I would love to hear your thoughts about Shiny Orb and the long-distance bridesmaid dress coordination process!
Hi Suzanne, I have a few suggestions for you! The Wedding Shoppe Inc. is a wonderful company to work with when your bridal party lives in different states.

1. Find a bridesmaid dress style and color that you like best. If your bridesmaids have different body styles and you're worried about finding a style that works for all of them, try switching it up. It's super common and trendy for bridesmaids to wear the same color and fabric from a designer, but for each dress to have a personal touch with a neckline or hem that flatters their individual body style. Each bridesmaid could pick herself which style she'd prefer & okay it with you. Whichever option you chose, make sure your bridesmaids get measured by a professional seamstress. With the styles and measurements available, you can easily order your bridesmaid dresses online at www.weddingshoppeinc.com. Wedding Shoppe Inc. customer service representatives are always waiting by phone and live chat to help you with this process. Choosing to order online at The Wedding Shoppe is hassle-free and your guaranteed the lowest prices with no sales tax or other fees. Once the bridesmaid dresses come in, The Wedding Shoppe will confirm that the order is correct, and then ship them to you for Free! Then, when scheduling fittings, refer back to the Wedding Shoppe Vendor Locator for a list of recommended seamstresses in each state.

2. Since your MOH now won't have to travel to CT for the dress fittings, she should be able to make it for the shower and the wedding :)

3. For the Ring Bearer, get his measurements done professionally and then go online again at www.weddingshoppeinc.com and pick him out a darling little tux. Choose a size according to his measurements & the size chart. The Wedding Shoppe will then ship the ring bearer tuxedo to you and if it needs fittings, you'll be able to refer back to the Wedding Shoppe Vendor Locator for a seamstress near by!

4. Same goes for the flower girl!

Hope this helps you Suzanne! Happy Wedding Planning!
For my own personal wedding, I had several bridesmaids that lived out of state due to the fact that they were either old college friends or relatives that lived out of state. One lived in New Jersey, another in Wisconsin and one more in Louisiana.

I had their dresses designed by a dressmaker. We gave them directions on taking their precise body measurements. With their measurements and height, my dressmaker was able to design the dresses and fit them two days before the wedding when they arrived into town.

Very little alterations had to be made and she only had to finish the hems. My mom and I also can sew well so we helped with finishing the hems.

I hope this helps.

Margaret Ivory
Ivory Pearl Bridal Mall

What I did, was I had each girl go and get measured and then call in their measurement to the specific place where their dresses were coming from.   I had all of them shipped to me and sent the ones out of state to them, I had no problems.  I got my dress and all of the gril's dresses from Chicago and I am in Florida

The answer to Question #1-  Select a bridemaids dress that looks good on all the girls.  Some themes are having your bridesmaids pick out a cocktail dress that looks good on them, but is in the select color theme of your bridesmaids.   All bridal shops carry top selling Bridal gowns.  Pick out a company, select a style(go to their website).  Have the bridesmaids get their measurements (accurately and they may have to go to a Professional to do this and there may be a small fee for this service)and have them send you their measurements.  They will need to pay a deposit for their dresses so that has to be worked out.  The Bridesmaids dresses have to be ordered all at the same time to assure correct dye lot and arrive in time (figure 18 weeks). 


2. You still have to Invite your Maid of Honor to your shower even though she may not be able to attend.  If you don't she may have hurt feelings, which you want to avoid.  She may not be able to attend the shower if the wedding date is close..this is something you have to understand may happen.  If you can afford it, you can fly her over from CT. to be at your shower....that is something you have to work out between the 2 of you.


3, Men's Warehouse rents childrens Tuxedo's and shoes and they are everywhere. If there is one in Florida, have him fitted there and have the Tux deleivered to your state.  I would inquire right away.


4. Dress for the flower girl...coordinate this with her mother..tell her what your bridemaids colors are...you may be able to order fabric the same color as your bridesmaids dresses(has to be done at the same time, as it can take several weeks for the fabric to arrive) and have a dress made for the flower girl, or have her go to a bridal salon in her area and have her pick out a dress to coordinate. 


I hope everything works out!  Regards, Cathy www.collezionefortuna.com


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