The mother of the bride gets all the fun. Watching her little girl shop for bridal gowns all over Connecticut, helping to choose color schemes and venues and the menu for the reception. What's in it for the mother of the groom?
Besides getting a new daughter out of the deal? Quite a lot. The role of the mother of the groom is to serve as a liaison between the two families, which means, if you do it right, you're not just gaining a new family member, but a new family of friends. Here's how to do it right:
1. Make the first move. Traditionally, the groom's family hosts a get-together with the bride's family soon after the couple becomes engaged. Even if the families already know each other, this is a nice gesture, and besides--now you have something new to talk about! The dinner need not be formal; in fact, it might be more fun and relaxed if it's not. But it's a great opportunity to let the bride and her family know of your willingess to be involved in the wedding planning and preparations.
2. Make a list (and check it twice). The bride's family traditionally pays for the wedding reception. Therefore, it's especially considerate to consult with the bride's family about how large the wedding is expected to be, and how many guests the groom's family should expect to invite. If your family is huge and the bride's is tiny, consider offering to chip in for the reception or pay for other expenses. When the final list is prepared, of course, provide complete names and addresses. Similarly, as it's the traditional responsibility of the groom's family to host the rehearsal dinner, be sure to share your ideas for that event with the bride's family and ask for their input.
3. Win "Best Supporting Mom." Planning a wedding can be hectic. You'll score big points with the bride and her family by letting them know that you're so excited about this upcoming union that you want to help in any way you can--making favors, consulting about flower choices, assisting with the seating chart, or anything else. The operative word in that last sentence is "help." As the mother of the groom, this particular wedding bus may not be yours to drive--but that doesn't mean that you don't get to enjoy the ride.
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