Five Essential Newlywed Strategies for the Daughter-in-Law

... or how to achieve a lifetime of smooth sailing with your husband and MIL and save yourself years of frustration, anger, and anti-depressants!

So, you’ve just stepped off the bus—do not delay! You must take these five rules and place them in your arsenal of weaponry immediately! It is often the most vulnerable time for a daughter-in-law (although you won’t know it until it’s too late) since you may be starry eyed and wanting to make friends with your beloved’s mother. But if you do these top five rules in a willing and proactive manner, you will protect yourself from 90 percent of future D.I.L.Z. (Daughter-in-Law Zings) that very well may come hurtling your way! So, let’s begin.

1. Call your MIL “Mom.”

Although this might take some getting used to, it is well worth the effort. Not only will it create a sense of family (remember the advice from The Secret: feel it first and then it will happen, right!?), but it will also help remind you who is the true boss in this triangular relationship that you’ve just entered into. Hint: it isn’t you! (At least we want her to feel as if she’s still in charge!)

2. Call your MIL regularly.

This seems like something that would be best left to your sense of spontaneity, but do not take this lightly. You must mark it in your calendar to call your new Mom at least once a week. Mark a day on your calendar such as Sunday and call her religiously. If you are super busy, you can aim for getting her machine like when you know she’s at Bingo, but leave a message saying that you just called to say hi.

3. Ask your MIL how she is feeling!

This is a simple strategy that you must not leave solely for the times where she is truly under the weather. You must ask Mom how she is feeling each and every time you speak to her! Otherwise, you may be leaving yourself wide open to hearing about her aches and pains and she will have to initiate the topic (which may then brand you as an uncaring person). So, beat Mom to the punch and make sure you do not forget!

4. Tell your MIL what a great job she did as mother.

This is a real good one because it is a proactive strategy that works like a charm. This will most likely bring her to tears and that is great! Just remember that someday you too will perhaps raise a son and can you think of a more wonderful compliment that that? Surely not! So, speaking of compliments …

5. Compliment your MIL’s looks—often!

Remember, your MIL can be just as self-conscious as you are, and who doesn’t like to be flattered? Tell her how pretty, young, healthy, thin she looks. Tell her what a great hairstyle she has. Even if she’s wearing a wig. Especially if she’s wearing a wig. In fact, go out and get yourself a hairpiece and you too can enjoy the benefits of “fake hair!”

Okay, you’ve gotten through the honeymoon phase. But beware, because you’re about to enter the realm of the ridiculous—a lifetime of wedded bliss with your MIL!

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Comment by on October 14, 2009 at 10:06am
Great Advice!!!! This tends to be overlooked and is super important since you really do "marry" his family too!

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