Marriage is the culmination of a resilient and loving relationship. It can be a great system of support and a gateway to starting a family. However, before you move in with your loved one, there are several questions you should ask as a couple to be sure you both feel ready to take this milestone together.
The way partners handle conflict is an important factor to consider because it affects the health of the marriage. It is normal for couples to disagree, but how you solve conflicts determines the quality of the union. If you disagree over something, and one of you brushes it off as inconsequential, the other person might not feel the same. This might lead to tension and disharmony. It is important to know how you handle conflicts. This way, it will be easier to solve disputes that arise once you move in together.
This might seem like an odd question to ask, but it is very important if you want a smooth relationship. You need to understand how you truly feel about each other. Are they the right one for you? Do you share most things in common? Do you really love each other without conditions or limits? Do you appreciate your partner’s weaknesses? Do they appreciate yours? These questions will help you avoid feeling lost or rushed once you move in and live together full-time. Have a long discussion about your feelings for one another and fully commit before moving into one place.
For many partners, most of the conflicts arise from housework and daily tasks. It is important to identify the duties and chores your partner is comfortable with. Remember, in marriage, there is no right or wrong, as long as you make arrangements that are fair for both of you. It is equally good to note that if you have any problem with how your partner handles certain household chores, it does not mean you should not move in with him or her. The problem may not be about your partner, but rather your expectations. Set a test schedule, and talk about how it is working out after a few weeks so there aren’t any lingering concerns.
Where are you moving in? Your parent’s basement, her apartment, or are you both pooling finances to find an apartment or house together? Be agreed on the new place, and ready to adjust to living there both alone and with your partner. As you adjust, be sure to make changes as well. If a partner moves into your place, and you don’t accommodate them, how do you expect to stay together? Give them time to adjust and space to store their things. Make moving in together a breeze for both of you. You might decide to invest in a new TV together, or maybe a new security or fire alarm system. Make practical changes that make housing two people comfortable and easy.
This is a highly contentious topic when it comes to marriage. You need to know your partner’s feelings on children or their expectations for starting a family. You don’t want to be in a marriage where both of you expect totally different things. Talk about what kind of family you want, or if kids won’t be a consideration for either of you. Children affect your future career, home, cars, and so many other large purchases and considerations, be sure you both feel the same and can expect the same from the future.
Before you move in, you need to clarify your financial responsibilities first. Decide who will pay for what and when. Start by identifying the expenses you will incur each month and let each one of you pick the expenses you be responsible for. If you plan to join your accounts, be sure you both know what to expect and how finances will be divided.
Moving in together as a couple is a turning point in life. It marks the beginning of a life where you will have to share almost everything with your partner. The questions stated above will help you clarify some contentious issues before you move in together or decide to get married.
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