Where did the love go? Using your 5 senses to bring the love back (part 1)

Part 1: Listening


It seems to be a genetic defect in the human gene pool, as we get older we learn more ways to not really listen. How to tone things out so to speak. Granted you do journey through many areas in your life that may require a lot more patience, time investment, or a smart way to tone out the noise. For example, being at work with a fast deadline approaching and it’s a co-worker’s birthday. So there’s cake, laughing, fun, and a fast approaching headache. I see how toning out the noise can come in handy here. But where do we decide the line has been crossed? You go home and your partner wants to tell you their fantastic day, all you want to do is eat and go to bed, how easily does that tone out policy come home with you? Did we forget how to really listen?

In relationships hearing and really listening to your partner can really bring and keep you closer together. It should really be a well-developed habit for a couple to share a conversation. Of course it gets harder as things progress in the relationship, maybe you have children, which of course leaves less time in the day for a chat. However, incorporating this into your everyday schedule is good practice. I am speaking from advice giving perspective. I have friends daily asking me what they should get their significant other as a gift, or where they should take them for special night out. I am left bewildered by these questions… if you don’t know where to take them, how would I know? I have to then go through the motions of questions like “what do they love to do?” “What do they love to eat?” “Remember when you had the time of your life? Where were you?” and of course most know the answer to every question. But what it teaches me is couples tend to forget to actively listen to their partner or spouse! If you already have the answer you wont need to ask the question. When you listen to your partner stay attentive. Remember that you love them because you did, at one, point find them interesting. The love is already there, so listen to it!

So what to do? How can listening open up the doors to endless love… bring back the intimate connections? It’s really simple… well the idea is. I am going to recommend some homework you can try with your special someone. Sometime today embark on a journey with them, a journey through their mind. Ask every question you can think of, share old stories, fun memories, and at the end of this journey say these 8 words “I can’t wait to share another moment like this”. Seems simple , right? The only thing that will be difficult is making sure you live up to those 8 simple words! Are you listening yet?

Tomorrow we are on to sight… what does love look like? Stay tuned.

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