Wedding pros! I'm looking for some guidance on this issue.  I have a bride who just can't seem to make a decision on ANYTHING.  I give her my professional advice on her questions/concerns (a few examples are what wedding colors to choose and should I include so-and-so in my bridal party), but she wants me to tell her what to do.  It's not my wedding!


Any advice/suggestions?

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I am a huge believer in the personality quadrants. She is probably a main personality of the "harmonizer" quadrant and wedding planners are usually of the "organizer" quadrant first. Harmonizers can see all sides of everything and have a tough time making decisions. So helping her along with "that would look great" or "that would really work" conversation might help.
Set a limit on how much time you will meet with your Brides at their appointment. Time restraints are they want to play, steal ideas, or are they serious? Some Brides will return many times and try the same gowns over and over again and still can't decide. This always causes my "antennas" to wire into their intentions.

You can politely ask her why she is having a difficult time deciding....but keep an open mind to her reply.

Some Brides you have to "let go" and not pursue and devote your time to other potential sales. If she returns again..ask her if she made up her mind....

Other suggestion-ask them what gowns have they tried on already and what they like and do not like about them. ALL Brides shop around. You can't carry everything in the Bridal Magazines. They have to understand cannot just order a gown "just to try it on"...this costs money. Offer to take a deposit-half to cover the cost of the gown..if she doesn't like it when it arrives she has lost it....Bridal is special order and costs money..mostly the Vendors...
She is probably afraid her decisions will ruin her wedding. Ask what is her favorite color, then choose 4-5 shades in that color. Ask her to pick a favorite, then move on to another topic. Go with what she likes and give her some choices. Eventually she will relax and have a great day.
I have this issue when it comes to pinning down an appointment for a makeup trial. A lot of times, it seems that they're listening to everyone, except themselves. I'm currently dealing with an indecisive bride. I've been trying to book a date for her makeup trial for the last 3 weeks and it's like pulling teeth! She's a referral from another MUA who happens to be a great friend, so that's why I'm letting it go for as long as I have. Her wedding is next week and we have yet to come up with a look for her. She's allowing her bridesmaids to tell her what they will not do and it's making her question the decision to hire a pro makeup artist.

This actually happens a lot. I've never understood how you will pay 8 grand for a dress, 15 on flowers, 20 on food/venue and then want to pinch pennies when it comes to you looking your best. You cannot get quality makeup & hair for 6 at $300. But, I digress...
Brides who cannot make decisions are operating on their fear of not having a good wedding, or it won't look right and possibly do not feel deserving of this amazing experience and all the attention. They need to feel heard and then reassured that everything is going to work out beautifully. That is what we are here for to help them find that inner peace and strength. Show up and be present and happy. If you can find a way to let her know she is being heard you will have half the battle conquered.
Trust me I have dealt with several indecisive brides they can drive the professionals crazy. But whatever you do don't let her see you sweat. Give her your opinion, don't give her too many choices this confuses her even more, give her time frames to make a choice. These can help her a lot. She's looking for you to help guide her thru. Just be patient with her but make sure you are firm with her this way you're not running in circles with her but actually getting somewhere. I hope this helps.
By all means, if she want's you to TELL her what to do, do it. You are the Professional. She is depending upon you for advice. I usually give several options and let them know my preference based upon their personality, etc. There are so many options for having a wedding ceremony go smoothly. I am an award winning wedding officiant and time is of the essence regarding a decision from them to hire me, otherwise someone else may book the date. I let them know that only a deposit secures the date. After the initial interview, they have 5 days to make a decision. In the meantime, if someone else calls for their date, I let them know that I will call them for a decision - giving them the "first right of refusal." After that I will release the date to someone else.

I know how you feel...I have been dealing with the most indecisive Brides all week.  Some are extemely rude  and appreciative.   I have been very honest in giving opinions when they ask, to the point my opinion is I think costing me a sale when I have a sale.  I am ready to tell them EVERYTHING LOOKS JUST GORGEOUS ON YOU..NO MATTER WHAT..and let them get the gown and let them worry about that later.  I

have worked with Brides that have gone thru the expense of already looking for another dress "just in Case" and have already spent a lot of money on a "back up" dress which they can't return.   Don't they realize if they buy another dress they can't return it either???


I need some help here!!! Thanks, Cathy,

I designed a questionnaire that uses word associations and phrases that I have the bride and the groom answer. They answer the questions from the perspective of themselves and the guests when thinking about the wedding and also the reception. I'm actually thinking of selling is as a planning tool because so many people have asked about it. 8)  One of the pages is entitled "My Biggest Worries Are:"  

The topics primarily are about ambience, activities, and looking back from the they want to remember their day. It really helps them focus and a side benefit is that the groom gets involved and often has some amazing ideas!

Most brides dont have a clue how work and time is required in planning a wedding.There are so many reasons

why she cant decide. There may be a deep rooted reason, like inlaws maybe if you may a sit down with just the bride

she may open up.Just remember some of them know just what they want others dont.When they dont you must step up

its the whole reason she hired you. Be kind but firm she'll thank you in the end.



happy wedding all


I find if I have an indecisive Bride, I tell her that we need to make solid decisions because time is of the essence, time lines of contracts, hiring vendors and paying for services in a timely manner.  Also making solid decisions cuts down on  miscommunications between the Bride, Planner and a Vendor.  Remind her if she doesn't make a solid decision, that she could be lacking in her Wedding and that you as her Planner would not advise her to do something that would make her look foolish in front of her guests.  Remind her that her guests are coming to see her and also to see the quality of her event. I tell every one of my clients that I treat their event as if I am doing my daughter's or son's Wedding, and that it is a reflection on me as a Professional Planner as well.  Hope this helps!

People are like eggs: some are strong, some are fragile, some are just cracked. You have to accept her as you find your bride. You can help her (and yourself ) by discovering why she fears making a decision first. Then you'll have a starting place for finding a way to make her more comfortable. Fears too many choices- narrow the choicrs or reverse the focus ie what don't you want.

You have a chance to be her superhero here. You can bring her true vision ( not what she thinks others will like) for her wedding to life while mentoring her to be more assertive. It's a big role that would scare some. But if you're truly there to serve you'll grow into it. Warmly Dina


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