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7 questions to ask before picking wedding vendors

Whether you’re selecting a wedding planner, photographer or venue, the real question is: what do you expect, in terms of working together and communication. That's something that's easy to miss in the rush and excitement of a wedding. Clearly, you want your vendors to be excited for your wedding, he or she must also be able to communicate with you, too.

Before you start your search, take a moment to decide what’s most important to you in a working relationship. Wedding planning can be stressful enough; no need to add being frustrated with your vendors to the list.

Ask yourself:

1. What attitude do I expect from my planner beyond helpful and friendly?
2. How do I want her to communicate with me, and on what schedule? Email, phone, weekly, monthly?
3. Do I want to know if she disagrees with me? Be honest. If you know it's your way or the highway, say so.
4. How do I want to handle disagreements? Talk it out. Use a mediator
5. What does this person need to know about me to work together successfully?
6. Who do I work best with, personality-wise? Your planner isn't your BFF but you should get along great.

Once you've figured this out you’ll feel more confident and have a tool that you can use to select the right vendors for you. Best of all, you'll be speaking the same language when those inevitable issues that arise.

Dina Eisenberg is a wedding facilitator and conflict expert who guides brides to find thoughtful solutions to wedding woes. To work with Dina or learn more, send an email to: weddingmediator@gmail.com

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Comment by Clay Toporski on July 21, 2009 at 12:41pm: These are great suggestions. If I had more communication with some of my vendors for my wedding I don't think i would have had some of the issues I had. That being said, it is also up to your vendor to ensure there is enough communication to get the job done to your satisfaction. Great article!

Comment by WeddingMediator on July 21, 2009 at 1:07pm: Clay, thanks, and you're right. Just like a tango, it takes two to communicate, right! The world is a pretty groovy place once you know how to do it. Very liberating.

Could I ask you a favor? Would you take a very short survey about this topic and wedding mediation? I'm eager to find the best way to share this information with brides. You might even win a prize! Thanks a bunch!

http://tinyurl.com/weddingmediation

Comment by Lois Allen on July 21, 2009 at 4:12pm: Excellent advice. I make it a point to work on a relationship with my brides so they feel comfortable with me during the invitation design process. The result is not only a great line of communication open for her design package, but also the opportunity to refer her to other trusted vendors I've worked with that I know will treat her right.

Comment by Wendy Hartigan on July 21, 2009 at 4:58pm: This is great advice! I'd like to post about it on my blog- if that is ok! Making a bride feel confident and heard during the process of planning is so important. I have to say, having a planner who keeps things going in the right direction is always a good thing. A planner can buffer a lot of stress for a bride. I know I do!

Comment by WeddingMediator on July 22, 2009 at 10:45am: I couldn't agree more, Wendy, and I'd be thrilled to have you or any other planner post this article to your blog. Would you do me one small favor. As I mentioned above, I need brides to be to take my survey. If you could mention it (http://tinyurl.com/weddingmediation) I'd appreciate it. I have my fingers crossed that my site will go live on or before 8/20.

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