Are you getting ready to tie the knot soon? Planning a wedding is both exciting and stressful at the same time. Picking out the perfect venue, finalizing the guest list, and coordinating the photographer and DJ are just some of the items on the checklist. In the midst of all of the chaos, you can lose sight of what’s most important, your fiancé. Here’s how to make your relationship your top priority while you plan your wedding.
Planning a wedding takes a lot of time, but often, it’s not time that you get to focus on your partner. To make sure you two are still connecting and getting the most out of your time together, plan time to focus on yourselves rather than your wedding. You can connect with your partner by being together in a fun and relaxed way. Get into the habit of weekly date nights where you don’t talk about what still needs to be done. Go for walks and cook dinner together talking to your partner about their day rather than whether the caterer has gotten back to you yet. After the wedding, life will still be plenty busy. Practice working around that now so that after the wedding, you know how to stay connected.
The adage “actions speak louder than words” will keep your relationship healthy. Make your partner breakfast, so it’s ready when they walk into the kitchen. Pack them a lunch or bring them something on your lunch break. Do some of the chores or errands they had been planning to do so they don’t have to worry about them. These small actions show that you care for your partner. Continuing to do these things as you head into married life will help keep your relationship strong.
Working together with the same goals in mind ensures that you’re both moving in the same direction. Your wedding is a great way to practice this. Make sure that for big projects like this, you set up smaller goals along the way. This will help you both feel more organized and will keep you motivated as you see the progress you’re making. Break down everything you’ll need for the wedding you both want, and organize that into a list of goals you can check off as you go.
Wedding planning is demanding, and in your frustration you may notice yourself snapping at your fiancé without meaning to. It’s easy to become so focused on the stressful that you forget to remember the reason you’re marrying them: you love them. Go out of your way to remind them of how much you love them too. Make them laugh, leave them a note, make them dinner or a snack when they’re tired, and most importantly, tell them that you love them. With both of you busy with planning, you might feel that you barely have any time with them that isn’t stressful. However, there will be some fun parts of wedding preparations, too. Cake tastings, dress and tux fittings, and bridal photos with your wedding photographer in Sedona or other places should be enjoyable experiences. Rather than think of them as just another thing to check off, use them as opportunities to enjoy wedding planning with your partner.
As you plan the wedding, focus on getting things done with each other. The divide and conquer method may sound powerful, but it is not ideal because you’ll be isolated. This can become a problem logistically in that you two may make conflicting plans—a catering tasting and a tux fitting scheduled at the same time, for example—which would only cause more stress. If you aren’t specific, you two may also be trying to handle the same problem independently of each other. Alternatively, you may both leave a task alone because you think the other person has it covered. Working separately is also a problem because you’re not together. Working together to plan your wedding makes the event more special for you both. It will also help you learn how to solve problems together, which will be vital in your married lives.
It’s ironic, but a little bit of space will help you focus on each other. While you should be working together on your wedding planning, being together constantly won’t help either of you. Everyone needs some alone time to unwind and enjoy some solitude. Spend some evenings on your own, go out with friends, and enjoy some time to yourself. When you reconnect with your fiancé, you’ll be more energized and happier.
Strong communication will strengthen the bond between you two. For this, both partners need to feel comfortable expressing their concerns without fear of dismissal or rejection. You need to be able to listen to your partner and their worries with the intent to understand. You shouldn’t be interrupting or arguing. Be ready to help problem solve if that’s what they need or to be a sounding board if that’s what they prefer. This skill is one that you’ll be using long past the wedding.
Your fiancé is going to be your partner for life. Create habits that will sustain a healthy relationship. Thought wedding planning can be stressful, you can use it to strengthen your relationship rather than let it tear you apart. Work together as a team to overcome obstacles, expect bumps in the road, and grow together from the experience.
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