Giving space to the new daughter in law

Marriage is not just a union of two souls, it is the coming together of to entire families. This is especially true in arranged marriages where the families play a major role in finding brides and grooms, fixing up the pair and then arranging the wedding. Joint families are a norm in India and brides must know that they are going to live with their in laws when they are married and enter a new household. Moving to a different house itself is very challenging, and you can image the pressure on the new bride because she is going to live with perfect strangers now.

No matter how many times she has met her in laws to find Punjabi grooms for marriage, living with them under one roof is surely going to be a task by itself. There will have to be several adjustments and sacrifices made just to please the in laws. When the daughter in law is ready to make all these compromises, it is but fair for the in- laws to help her in the adjustments.

Here are some tips for the in- laws to make their daughter in -law at home -

Own space -

The daughter in law belongs to this generation. She would have enjoyed her own space in her father's house. She would have had her own room, a private time for herself. Make sure that she gets all this at your home too. Knock on the door before entering her room, give her privacy when she is on the phone, let her enjoy alone time when all the chores are done.

Going out -

Women love to go out with their friends and loved ones. Let your daughter in -law visit her family, go out for movies with her friends or have dinner with her gang. Her outings once or twice in a month will not do any harm to your family. Do not restrict her going out and living her life.

Career -

Women today are very ambitious about their work. They love their job and earn their own identity as well as money. Encourage your daughter in -law to have goals in life that are besides family and marriage. Let her work until she wishes to or study what she desires to. Encouraging her in all fields is the duty of the in -laws.

Husband and wife time -

Your son and daughter in law are recently married. They need to have some private time with each other. Let they go out on dates, picnics and movies. Do not try to tag behind them and disturb their privacy. There is some other time when the entire family can hang out, but being alone is also important for them.

Any new entry into the family can change the routine of the household a bit. There is always some discomfort and strange feeling when a new member joins your home. Give it some time and things will finally settle down. It takes time to adjust and bring everything to normality.

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